Men and women in the shower together

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Men and women in the shower together

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The reality, however, can be quite different. For example, it quickly becomes clear when you're in a standing position that body parts can't be lined up with the same ease as when you're horizontal.

Then there's the irony of sex in the shower feeling dry, as well as the clear and present danger of losing your footing and one or both of you getting hurt.

The good news is that, with a little forethought, shower sex can be as good as we all want it to be. Below are several tips that can help turn shower sex from tricky to tremendous, plus a few shower sex positions to help you get started.

While you don't necessarily need any gear to pull off mind-blowing shower sex, enterprising minds at Sportsheets have devised a range of handy tools to mitigate against some of the things that can get in the way of a soapy and sultry bathroom experience.

These include sex-enhancing footrests and hand grips that stick to a tiled wall with a suction cup and purport to enable more vigorous and varied positions.

They've also come up with a vibrating mesh sponge for some good clean fun, wrist restraints that adhere to the wall or the sides of your tub and silicone anal shower beads for when you want to really kick things up a notch…or nine.

For many of us, a shower is simply a part of our daily routine and we're in and out with minimal fuss. While there's nothing stopping you from having a wild quickie, sex therapist Amy Levine suggests spending some quality time in there.

Bright lights, tiled walls, lotions, potions, and medications strewn over every surface: bathrooms aren't always the most atmospheric of spaces. Set yourself up for successful shower sex by taking a moment to make your bathroom more conducive to sexytime.

Start by organizing your cabinets, making space so that your countertop and sink area is tidy, uncluttered, and free of unsightly toothpaste barnacles.

Then, put a few candles on that countertop. If you usually like to get it on to music, get yourself a Bluetooth shower speaker that affixes to the wall with a suction cup, and, in no time at all, you will have transformed your bathroom from a place in which you get ready to a place in which you get busy.

Provided you've given yourself plenty of time for shower play, take the opportunity to spread out the fun. If you're first in, treat your partner to the arresting sight of you soaping up your naked body by candlelight before inviting them to join you, building the anticipation and laying the groundwork for an intense session.

For many women, the detachable showerhead is a trusty masturbatory companion. Taking a shower together enables women to show their male partners how it's done and add yet another element to the show.

Just because you're both in the shower doesn't mean that the show has to end. Try and position yourselves so that you can watch yourself as you glide your soapy bodies together.

She adds that sex in the shower, particularly oral sex , can be helpful for people who feel sadly self-conscious, getting them out of their heads.

Not everyone likes having their rear slapped during sex play, but if your partner has expressed a fondness for spanking and indicted the intensity with which he or she likes it delivered, taking it into the shower can be fun: the soapy wetness will both evoke a different, more stinging sensation, and create a more satisfying sound as it bounces off the tiled interior of your shower.

When we think of lubricant, we think of silky, slippery wetness, so it follows that when you're in the shower and there's soapy water everywhere, bringing lube with you is like bringing sand to the beach.

If you're using condoms silicone lube is a great idea. If you're having sex without condoms, Levine recommends an oil-based product like Yes.

Truth be told, shower sex can be a little tricky given that success largely rests on your ability to pull off a range of notoriously difficult standing positions in a cramped space.

If you can't get the logistics of shower sex to work for you, don't worry. You can think of the shower as a sexy warm-up and move on to intercourse using more sex-conducive surfaces and fixtures in the room.

She could sit on the countertop while he enters her while standing up for steamy, intimate, face-to-face sex.

Or she could bend forward over the sink allowing him to enter her from behind. Feel flattered. Say "thank you" or simply walk away.

But so many straight men can't, because no one has ever taught them how to respond to other men's assertive -- and sometimes aggressive -- sexual advances.

Straight men know how they can act when pursuing women. They know they can be aggressive and not take "no" for an answer. They know they can be crude and use their eyes and body language to pursue a woman even if she feels uncomfortable.

They naturally assume that gay men are the same way. And maybe some are. However, the solution isn't for straight men to attack gay men and take offense from a victim position: "Poor me, having to feel like for a woman when a man sexualizes me!

My message is to man up! Increase your self-esteem and self-confidence. If a gay or bisexual man finds you sexually attractive, take it as a very high compliment.

We gay men are picky and won't hit on just any man we happen to be attracted to. We have self-control. We have years of practice and experience in locker rooms being appropriate and mindful.

We know how to look without being obvious and not making anyone uncomfortable. In any locker room, all men -- straight, bisexual and gay -- look at one another.

They size each other up, comparing their bodies and penis sizes with those of other men. And some of the gay and bisexual men will go home and masturbate to some of the mental snapshots they captured while looking at you in the locker room.

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How am I supposed to respond? Most gay men have responded to his remark by saying, "Don't flatter yourself" and adding, "We've been showering with you most of our lives, and we know how to be appropriate.

I like those responses, but there's one we're shying away from, and this truth deserves to be said: "Yes! I am looking, and so are many other gay and bisexual men.

In fact, I'll go so far as to say that it's an honor to shower with other men in a locker room, and a privilege to view them -- one that I take very seriously and would never abuse.

If any straight man could enter the ladies' locker room and shower, I'd dare him to say differently. But it's equally true that most gay and bisexual men would never act on what they might be thinking.

From the very first time we had to undress and shower with you straight men, we have learned to be cautious and careful to avoid being humiliated, bullied or beaten up.

In the s, when I was entering sixth grade, my mother told me about gym and that afterward, I would have to shower with other boys. I was never so excited in my life.

But all those titillating and excited feelings quickly ended when I thought about getting an erection in the locker room and being discovered and outed.

I knew that would put me at risk for all types of humiliation and abuse. That's when the tension began. I started to hate gym and would do anything I could to get out of it.

Not that I couldn't control myself. I knew I would never dare to approach a guy, but I couldn't trust my own body not to be get aroused, and I felt tremendous shame at being so transparent, that every guy knew what was really on my mind.

This is a common story that many gay men have repeated to me in therapy, so I know I am not alone. It was pure torture.

So I learned to behave appropriately: head up, on my guard, and hypervigilant. I totally shut down any feelings I had just so that I could make it through gym class and get out.

So what's my answer to Mr. Vilma and all the other straight men who feel this way? Feel flattered. Say "thank you" or simply walk away.

But so many straight men can't, because no one has ever taught them how to respond to other men's assertive -- and sometimes aggressive -- sexual advances.

Straight men know how they can act when pursuing women. They know they can be aggressive and not take "no" for an answer.

They know they can be crude and use their eyes and body language to pursue a woman even if she feels uncomfortable. They naturally assume that gay men are the same way.

They are so tiny. How are these not considered travel-size? What is that? Are you using a rock on your body?

I just No, I'm not trying to instigate anything right now. I'm not trying to rub against you, it's just that we're in a tiny shower.

I just need to kind of squeeze over here Oh, dammit. Now I'm pressed up against the cold tile and it's like I'm rubbing myself against a giant fish.

Oh, wait. I just realized I have someone to wash that weird spot I can't get to. She can totally wash my back, and I can finally feel like I've cleaned my whole body without having to dislocate my shoulder.

She's lathering forever. How does she even get that much lather on her body? This is incredible. I'm freezing. When is it going to be my turn to hop in the shower?

I'm turning it up. No, this isn't "literally burning hot" because I'm standing under it and I don't even have third-degree burns.

This is the worst of both worlds. It's like being at a Nickelback concert, because no matter where I stand, it's terrible and I hate it.

These scents are so strong. Am I going to smell like a girl now? This loofah is life-changing.

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